Polygynie (het trouwen met meerdere vrouwen)

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Plural Marriage (Polygyny) & Women It Is Not Permitted To Marry: The Book of Marriage, Bulūgh al-Marām (no. 991) – Shaikh al-Fawzān

http://www.abukhadeejah.com/plural-m...ikh-al-fawzan/

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Voor degenen die beweren: polygynie mag door de rechtvaardige mannen slechts gepraktiseerd worden door te trouwen met oude vrouwen, weduwen, gescheiden vrouwen met kinderen om voor te zorgen enz. En NIET om te trouwen met maagden of jonge aantrekkelijke vrouwen:

Soerah An-Nisa Aya 3:

"If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry woman OF YOUR CHOICE, two, three, or four..."

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Selected Questions and Answers on Polygamy – al-’Allaamah ’Ubayd Ibn ’Abdullaah al-Jaabiree

[Q.5]: Some people of knowledge exclude from the impermissible backbiting (gheebah), the backbiting a woman commits against her co-wife, so what is the ruling concerning that?

[A.5]: First of all we say: where did they derive that exception from? It is incumbent that this be supported with evidence for indeed the origin of backbiting is that it is impermissible. Also, backbiting is not permissible except when a legislative matter cannot be achieved except by way of it, and one does not go beyond what needs to be mentioned out of necessity.

So until today, I do not know of any evidence that permits a woman to back bite her co-wife, meaning out of oppression and transgression. However, if it is due to a defect regarding her Religion, whether this defect necessitates fisq (i.e. being a rebellious sinner) or kufr (disbelief), then she (i.e. the co-wife) is like everyone else and should be warned against and there is no problem with this.

Also, I just now remembered his statement (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) to ’Aa‘ishah (radiyallaahu ’anhu) when she said, “It suffices you regarding so and so that she is short.” She meant by this: Safiyyah, may Allaah be pleased with all of them. He (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, “Indeed, you have said a word, if it was mixed with the sea it would have changed its odor and taste.” [1]

He (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said this, or close to this meaning. At any rate, back biting is impermissible and nothing is excluded from this except what constitutes necessity as we previously mentioned.

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[Q.13]: Is it necessary that each wife have a bayt shar’ee and what are the conditions of this type of house? [2]

[A.13]: A separate house specific for the wife is from her legislated rights. Because of this the people of knowledge have said that one should not have two wives in one house, meaning in a small house which is one dwelling; except if they both agree. You find some people who place each wife in their own room, but if they agree to this there is no objection.

However the origin is that each of them has their own separate house in which she does not have to share with anyone, except perhaps his or her family members and other than them who may visit, and their affair is well known. But again, this house belongs to her and she possesses the keys and she does in it the likes of what women normally do in their homes.

Also the bayt shar’ee differs according to different circumstances and different customs. Custom plays a part in this. You find that the dwelling of the Bedouin women is not like the dwelling of the city women. Even the types of dwellings of the city women differ.

Also the condition of the husband should be examined and what he is able to afford. Because of this we advise the men not to marry women who are above them in social status; meaning from the aspect of wealth and money. He therefore should seek a woman similar to him in social status or a class lower.


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[Q.14]: Perhaps the first wife acquired jewelry and furniture from her husband over a long period of time, so is it obligatory for him to give to the second wife the likes of what the first has of furniture and jewelry?

[A.14]: The first wife has preceded in marriage with the husband and has previously received things before the co-wife came along. So due to this long relationship, she acquired things of jewelry and furniture, so it is not required of him that he gives the second wife all of this; because the first received what she received due to her long marriage.

So if he wants to be equal and just regarding both of them as Allah the Mighty and Majestic commanded, he must start this from the time of marriage (i.e. when he took on the second wife). Meaning, whatever comes about in the future (he must be just). However, as far as the past, he is not commanded to make the second equal to the first.

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[Q.17]: A man wants to get married and he already has a wife. However, he is afraid that some family problems may occur between him and his first wife, keeping in mind that by him taking on a second wife will protect him from evil and fitnah (i.e. fornication etc…), so which of these two harms are greater?

[A.17]: I say in response to this: polygamy is the right of the man just as Allaah commanded,

“Marry the women that you like, two, three or four.” [Sooratun-Nisaa‘ 4:3]

So it is a right of his and she has no right to prevent him. Also we previously said that if she dislikes that, meaning she does not like that her husband marries a second, this is from her fitrah (natural disposition), but it is not permissible that she harms him in his self or his wealth.

As for what the questioner thinks, that problems will occur between them, this matter in reality returns to him. If he is able to solve his problems and to suffice each of them (their needs) so that the first will have nothing to say about the second (this should be done). For example, that he makes both of their homes far apart, this will be something recommended in this instance.

Also the questioner mentioned that polygamy will protect him from*fitnah. What is apparent is that the first wife is unable to keep him chaste and this is that which emphasizes the obligation of polygamy upon him. However, just to keep good relations, he should make her feel good and speak to her in a soft manner and also show her that he did not get a second wife because he doesn’t desire her anymore, nor because she is falling short in her duties; rather because it is a matter which Allaah legislated so he wants to enjoy what Allaah made permissible for him.

Also, he should promise her that he will not deprive her of her rights and he will not fall short regarding her. Also he promises her that he will (continue) to maintain good relations with her and he will not forget her good companionship to him. He should mention these goodly words; but if she stubbornly resists and he sees himself capable of being just and that polygamy will keep him chaste, let him take another wife and let him not worry about her.

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[Q.18]: A woman harms herself when her husband takes another wife, so if the husband does this (i.e. takes another wife in this instance) is he sinful?

[A.18]: No, never, she is sinful and this is his right! And in reality this shows the weakness in her Religion.

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[Q.19]: What is the ruling on the one who sees that by often mentioning to his wife that he will take on another wife, in this is a preparation in order to lessen the problems when the marriage actually takes place? Or is it better that he remains silent and does it when she does not expect it?

[A.19]: My opinion is that it is best that one is balanced, and this is by him not speaking to her about polygamy, lest he may hurt her feelings. However, when he is ready, he speaks to her in a good, soft way, just as preceded. Also he should make her beautiful promises and fulfill those promises.

Likewise he should fulfill with her that which he was already accustomed to doing with her in having good dealings. As for just surprising her with this (i.e. getting another wife), I do not see this to be correct.

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[Q.20]: Is it a condition to have the permission of the wife before one takes on another wife? Also if they (i.e. her family, walee (guardian), etc.) make a condition upon him not to take on other wives, does he fulfill that condition, although he fears for himself fitnah and becoming sinful?

[A.20]: As for him seeking her permission, then we have already spoken about this (in a previous question) so there is no need to repeat. As for making a condition upon the man that he does not take on a second wife, the most correct opinion is that it is a shart baatil (an invalid condition) because it is not found in the Book of Allaah. [3]

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[Q.22]: If one of the wives does not cook lunch for her husband or other than that, is it then permissible for him to go to the other wife’s house and eat there?

[A.22]: This affair should be examined. If the wife was able to cook or buy food then in reality she is negligent and he has the right to go and eat at the other wife’s house. However, if a matter intervened that did not allow her to prepare the food and was out of her hands, he is not allowed to go to the other wife’s house. Rather, he should buy food for everyone or give her some time to allow her to cook.

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[Q.27]: O Shaykh – may Allaah preserve you – some people claim that the only obligation upon the wife is to give herself intimately to her husband, and it is not incumbent upon her to take care of the house, clean and carry out her husband’s needs?

[A.27]: This is another matter – may Allaah bless you – the woman should take care of the needs of her husband according to what is done customarily amongst the people (i.e. of her land, tribe, background etc.).


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Endnotes:

[1]: Saheeh: Related by Aboo Daawood (no. 4875) and at-Tirmidhee (2/82), Ahmad in al-Musnad (6/189) and at-Tahaawee (2/19). It was authenticated by al-Albaanee in Ghaayatul-Maraam (no. 427).

[2]: A bayt shar’ee is the house usually found in Arab countries where a part of the house consists of a majlis (large living room) and the bathroom is sectioned off from the main part of the house with a separate entrance in order to avoid mixing when either the wife or husband has guests, and Allaah knows best.

[3]: Here the Shaykh is refering to the hadeeth of ’Aa‘ishah (radiyallaahu ’anhaa) that the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, “What is wrong with people who impose conditions that are not found in the Book of Allaah? Whatever condition imposed and not found in the Book of Allaah is invalid, even if it be one hundred conditions. Related by al-Bukhaaree (no. 2729) and Muslim (no. 1504). This footnote is in the original Arabic text by Aboo Rawaahah.

Translation by Abu Suhayl Anwar Wright

http://sunnahpublishing.net/selected...h-al-jaabiree/

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Question:

The following question was received by the Committee: "A man has a wife and he marries another, then the first wife requests that he give her jewelry like he gave the second one. Is he required to give her or not?

Answer:

The Committe replied as follows: "One who marries a woman is not obliged to give the first wife what he gave the second, such as the dowry or the jewelry which customarily is a part of the dowry. But if he gives her in order to appease her, out of kindness for her, then this is good. Especially if it is to his benefit to please her and to ensure her companionship with kindness in the furture. And Allaah is the Granter of succes. And may peace and blessings be upon His servant and His Messenger, Muhammed and upon his family and Companions.

[The Permanent Committee, Fatawa Islamiyah]

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Question:

Some people say marrying more than one wife is not allowed unless a person has an orphan under his care and he fears that he will not do justice between them. Then he may marry their mother or one of her daughters. For evidence they quote,*''And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then marry women of your choice, two, three or four.”*(al-Nisa:3)

Answer:

This statement is false. The meaning of the verse is that if a person has under his care an orphan and he fears that he will not give her proper amount of dower, then he should marry other women, for there are many women and Allah will not make things difficult for him.

The verse points to the legality of marrying two, three or four wives. This is allowed because it leads to more chastity, lowering the eyesight and guarding the private parts.

Furthermore, that is a cause for more children and the chastity of more women, as well as them being treated properly and cared for.

There is no doubt that the women who has one-half of a husband or one-third or one-fourth is better off than the one who has no husband at all. However, one must meet the condition of justice among the wives and the ability to take care of and tend to the wives. If a person fears he will not do justice, then he may only marry one wife in addition to having slaves. The practice of the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi-wasallam) indicates and stresses that. When he died he had nine wives. And Allah says about him,

''Indeed in the Messenger of Allah you have a good example to follow.”(al-Ahzab:21)

The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi-wasallam) made it clear to his Nation that it was allowed for him to have more than four wives. Therefore, following his example on this point would mean taking four wives or less. Beyond four wives is something that is specific for the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi-wasallam) only.

Shaykh `Abdul-`Azeez Bin Baz

Islamic Fatawa Regarding Women - Darussalam Pg. 178-179

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Question:

If a man is married to four women and one of them was afflicted by mental illness, is it permissible for him to marry another woman while the ill one is alive, or is she forbidden to him because she is the fifth of them?

Answer:

It is not permissible to marry more than four, even if one of them is afflicted by mental illness or anything else, or even if all of them were ill, as long as he has four wives. This is according to the generality of the evidences and the forbiddance of combining more than four wives.

Permanent Committee for Research and Verdicts

Fatawa Islamiyah Darussalam Vol: 5 no. 358

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Man "Wedding" Four and Lawfully More? – Dr Saleh As-Saleh

http://salaf-us-saalih.com/2015/01/1...aleh-as-saleh/

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Wives Preventing Polygyny (having more than one wife at one time) – Shaykh al-Albaani

http://salaf-us-saalih.com/2010/09/0...ting-polygyny/

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We would like to ask your opinion and advice in regard to the following matter:

A 22-year-old Libyan university student has fallen in love with a 35-year-old Egyptian doctor, who is working here in Libya. He is Multazim (practicing Muslim), married and good-mannered. He has three children who are studying in Egypt, but they come to stay with him in Libya during their summer vacation. Until now, according to what he says, he does not know this young woman; he has not even seen her or dealt with her, but she has been very keen to marry him for some time now, even if it is only for a short period. Our friend the doctor refuses the idea of marriage to protect the material and moral stability of his marriage. He fears that by marrying this girl, he will be unjust to his wife, but his refusal causes the young woman many tears.

She even suggested that she will bear all the marriage and living expenses, as she is from a good and wealthy family. Please advise regarding the legality of these two suggestions that the young woman has proposed through a mediator:

First proposal: She suggests that he marries her secretly in her country, to preserve the stability of his marriage, for as long as he is in Libya. He can then divorce her when his contract ends and he returns to his country, whether that is after one, two, three, or more years - the date of his return is not known yet, as it depends on work conditions. Is this form of marriage Shar‘y (Islamically lawful)? Or is it the Mut‘ah marriage (temporary marriage for a stipulated period) that is declared prohibited by Islam?

Second proposal: She suggests that he marries her with the intention of it being conditional, and re-evaluating the situation after a while. If they agree to live together and she wants to travel with him to his country, she will pay a sum of money to his first wife in compensation. If the girl pays the money, they will remain married as long as Allah wills them to, but if she does not pay, she will remain in her country and the marriage will end. Is a marriage contract in this form permissible and valid according to the Shari`ah (Islamic law)?

1. Our friend the doctor asked us to seek your Islamic legal opinion on both these suggestions, each in a separate answer.

2. He is willing to listen to any other opinions from you to resolvethis problem.

3. Please advise both the doctor and the young woman.

4. Will he be sinful if he does not respond to her strong desire to marry him?

5. Would marrying this young woman be an injustice to his first wife, as she is Multazimah (a practicing Muslim woman), and loving and obedient to her husband?

May Allah guide you and us to what He likes and pleases! As-salamu ‘alaykum warahmatullah (May Allah’s Peace and Mercy be upon you!)

Answer:

First: The first proposal, which is marrying until the husband travels back home, is not permissible, as it falls under Mut‘ah marriage due to stipulating a time period for the marriage limited by the husband’s return. As for the second proposal, which is to make the continuity of the marriage dependent on evaluating its status; this is not correct either, since the basic ruling of a marriage is to intend for it to continue, and this condition negates it.

Second: This doctor does not have to respond to the girl’s request, and he will not be sinful if he does not do so. He may respond to her request, if he sees that there may be a benefit in marrying her, and he does so with the intention of preserving both his and her chastity, raising good children, and continuing the marriage, maybe Allah will reward him for this intention.

Third: This marriage would not be an injustice to the first wife, as Allah allows polygyny. Allah (Exalted be He) says (what means): ...then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four,

May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.

The Permanent Committee for Scholarly Research and Ifta'

http://www.alifta.net/Search/ResultD...stKeyWordFound

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Question1:

Is it permissible for a pregnant widow along with her co-wife of a polygyny to stop Hidad (mourning prescribed period during which a widow does not adorn herself and keeps to her passed away husband's home) when the baby is born?

Answer:

Both the `Iddah (woman's prescribed waiting period after divorce or widowhood) and Hidad of a pregnant widow have to continue until the baby is born. This is unlike the `Iddah and Hidad of a non-pregnant widow which have to continue for four months and ten days. Proof for the foregoing is the Ayah (Qur'anic verse) in which Allah (Exalted be He) says, And those of you who die and leave wives behind them, they (the wives) shall wait (as regards their marriage) for four months and ten (days)

He (Exalted be He) also says, And for those who are pregnant (whether they are divorced or their husbands are dead), their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is until they lay down their burden

The Prophet (peace be upon him) decided the termination of the `Iddah of Subay`ah Al-Aslamiyyah, who was a pregnant widow, by giving birth to her baby. The non-pregnant widow is not permitted to terminate her Hidad when her co-wife of a*polygyny*gives birth to her baby. May Allah grant us success.

May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.

The Permanent Committee for Scholarly Research and Ifta'

http://www.alifta.net/Search/ResultD...stKeyWordFound

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Question

My mother suffers an illness that disabled her and made her unable to practice her marital life with my father. My father sought treatment for her inside and outside the Kingdom but it was of no avail. Accordingly, my father had to marry another woman for fear of committing Zina (sexual intercourse outside marriage). Praise be to Allah, he enjoys good health and we - his sons - agree to his marriage. It is noteworthy to mention that my father continues to care for my mother in a respectable and honorable manner.

One day, my younger maternal aunt came to our house and asked us to bring our mother to stay with her for a month so that she could look after her medication and take care of her. Afterwards, my aunt learned of my father's marriage. One month later, we asked her to bring our mother back as she had not gotten any better. Thereupon, she insistently refused because she and some of my maternal uncles do not accept my father's marriage.

When we asked our aunt why she disapproved of my father's marriage, she said that it would be better if he committed Zina rather than marrying another woman; for in this case he alone would bear the sin (of doing this).

Some of my maternal uncles said, were it your father who was sick, would our sister [the wife] have the right to ask for divorce and marry another man? Our mother was taken from them by force fearing that my father would divorce her. Consequently, I was about to hit my aunt when an argument with her and my uncles, but I sought refuge in Allah from the Satan and - praise be to Allah - I refrained from doing so. We are now living at rest happily with our mother.

However, one week after the fight; I went to my aunt and apologized to her in order to maintain ties of kinship, but unfortunately she refused to greet me. Two weeks later; I visited her again and she greeted me with a cold heart. It is worth mentioning that I live in Ibqiq, but my aunt and uncles stopped visiting us at our house there unless I return to our house in Al-Ahsa', despite that I live with my father and my brothers in the same house in Ibqiq while they (my aunt and uncles) live in Al-Ahsa'. My second house in Al-Ahsa' is near to them and almost every month I go and spend three days there.

My aunt comes just to see my mother and stays with her for half an hour and then leaves. Some of my uncles who still reject my father's marriage have not visited my mother for a year now. Some tend to visit her every one or two months. Also, my aunt no longer visits us in our house in Ibqiq even if she does not see her sister for a long time. In the past, she used to visit our mother at least every two or three weeks. Accordingly, I would like your Eminence to provide me with an answer to the following questions:

1- What should our position be as nephews to*uphold the ties of kinship with my aunt and uncles given that they now do not respect my father, or even hear his name?

Should we maintain our ties or boycott them until they work the situation out with my father? I should mention that my father has never asked us to boycott them but I have no heart for visiting them while they show no respect to my father. Apart from this, they do not welcome me as usual i.e. With open hearts; not to mention that I have sought reconciliation between my father and them in hope of maintaining family bonds, but to no avail.

2- What is the ruling on the permissibility of marrying four women? When it becomes permissible for a Muslim to marry four women?

3- What is the punishment of the one who commands or recommends committing Zina - I seek refuge in Allah - to prevent someone from taking a second wife?

4- Evaluate the position of my uncles and aunt towards this issue; are they right or wrong in their response to my father's act?

Answer

If the case is as mentioned:

First: You should maintain the ties of your kinship i.e. Your aunt and uncles, even if they boycott you, do not return your visits, or greet you inhospitably. Thus, you will have the reward of upholding the ties of kinship and they will bear the sin of boycotting you.

Second: Polygyny is permissible for one who can fulfill his wives` obligations, and is not likely to be unfair to them at home.

Third: One who rejects polygyny, advises against it, or feels that it should not be practiced even if it results in Zina is wrongful and sinful for saying this and advising others to do this. They must repent to Allah, seek His Forgiveness, and take back what they have said and recommended.

Fourth: If the case of your aunt and uncles is as you have mentioned, they are mistaken in severing their ties of kinship and remaining angry at your father and his children.

May Allah grant us success. May peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions!

The Permanent Committee for scholarly Research and Ifta'

http://www.alifta.net/Search/ResultD...stKeyWordFound

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Question:

I have been married for five years now to a righteous man, all praise be to Allah. We have four children and we lead a happy life, all praise be to Allah. However, after I had this fourth girl, my husband married another woman at a time when I was really in need of him. He said that he did not marry her out of any negligence on my part, but to maintain the Sunnah (supererogatory act of worship following the example of the Prophet) of*polygamy*and to have many children. I could not bear it. When he married this woman, I did nothing but be patient and seek the reward from Allah (Exalted be He), while I was torn inside.

The whole matter affects my health and the baby's, although many days have passed and no one but Allah (Exalted be He) knows how I feel. I wish you could guide me to the right solution that does not involve me committing a sin. Can I ask him to leave me, despite the four children we have? Should I ask him to leave her while she is pregnant? What is ruling on that?

Will I bear a sin for asking him to leave her and will he bear a sin if he leaves her? Note that at one point, I visited her in the Kingdom and asked her to leave him, explaining that I cannot bear it. She told me that my reaction is natural and that after a while, I will get used to it and feel nothing. The exact opposite happened, each day my bitterness and pain increase. What should I do?

Answer:

your husband is as you mentioned a righteous man whose company is good and you have some children, we advise you to be patient and remain with your husband, if you have nothing else against him. You have to be good company for him and help him to fulfill his duties and to save your children from separation and its effects. Beware not to say or do anything that offends him or his wife, and if you do, hasten to apologize. If your husband or his other wife offend you in any way, try to be patient and reproach them in a friendly way. May Allah guide you all to be good companions to one another and help you build this family and raise your children on the Islamic morals.

May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.

The Permanent Committee for Scholarly Research and Ifta

http://www.alifta.net/Search/ResultD...stKeyWordFound

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Question:

What are the rights of a Christian wife as compared to those of a Muslim wife?

Answer:

A Christian wife has the same rights that a Muslim wife has, i.e. clothing, maintenance, housing, kind treatment, not to be subjected to injustice, and making a just division between her and someone's other wives in case a person practices polygamy.

May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.

The Permanent Committee for Scholarly Research and Ifta'

http://www.alifta.net/Search/ResultD...stKeyWordFound